


Through Gritted Teeth

by daddykink (halogenharry)



Series: Things You Said... [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Clueless Sebastian, Denial of Feelings, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Emotionally Repressed, M/M, Self-Denial, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:39:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halogenharry/pseuds/daddykink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are only a few sides Sebastian Smythe was willing to show the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Gritted Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this tumblr post:  
> http://didyousayjuhaku.tumblr.com/post/120314488479/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a  
> (#2)

Sebastian liked to see himself as a one-sided person. He often kept his emotions hidden deep down where they couldn't be easily be tapped, the way he wanted them to stay. He showed the world a charming, young man with great charisma and good looks that impressed everyone he came across. And in all his life, no one had ever been able to break through his act or dodge it anyway.

 

Until Blaine showed up.

 

Blaine made him feel things - real things. Not some artificial, manufactured stuff he usually conjured up. Blaine was able to get past a few of his barriers and tap into sides no one had ever seen before. He was the cause of Sebastian's first giggle, he was the only one Sebastian didn't push away when they tried to tickle him, he was allowed to fix Sebastian's hair and see the vulnerability in his eyes and he was there for every moment of sincere confession.

 

Of course, Sebastian still relapsed at times. He still kept many of his feelings private, feeling it was smarter and safer for both of them. It wasn't like Sebastian had a lot of things he wanted to say to Blaine (he did) or that he feared rejection (he most definitely did); he just felt that some of his feelings should be kept private. But deep down, Sebastian wanted to open up completely to Blaine. He wanted to show Blaine every last part of him and tell him every last detail of his life. Sebastian wanted to show Blaine that he wasn't entirely shallow. He wanted him to know he had a heart. He wanted Blaine to know he was capable of love and, most of all, he wanted to prove to himself he was capable of manifesting real love. But what he hadn't realized was that he already was completely, madly in love with Blaine and there was nothing more for him to do. 

 

Every few days after they had both finished up their classes and had done all the studying they could handle, Blaine would make his way down the hall to Sebastian's dorm room with a few movies and a bag of popcorn in hand. Since all of Sebastian's roommates liked to go out and usually ended up sleeping in one of their friends' dorms, they had the place to themselves all night to do whatever they desired. Many nights were innocent and filled with laughter; others were filled with hot, panting breaths and heavy petting. And most nights were the latter.

 

But Sebastian refused to look into it much. He saw it as Blaine needing to find satisfaction and he was always there. Sebastian didn't even consider for a second that this wasn't simply some "Bro, I'm really horny, can you help me out?" stuff. After all, he thought Blaine was straight. Sebastian had only ever seen Blaine with girls after all.

 

None of this helped Sebastian with his desire to love and be worthy of love because he went through everything thinking the person he cared about most saw him as nothing more than a friend and saw everything they did as something that was just for kicks. 

 

 

 

On a night in October, Sebastian and Blaine were making their way back from a party. Neither one was very drunk, only a little bit tipsy (though Blaine was a bit worse than Sebastian, he was a lightweight after all) which made sense seeing as they only stayed an hour and decided to head home.

 

Back in Sebastian's bed, Blaine and Sebastian were facing each other as they decided on what they would do. 

 

"I wanna watch a movie," Blaine demanded, pouting his lip in hopes of getting his way. 

 

Sebastian rolled his eyes at the display. "And I'd prefer some sleep."

 

Blaine sighed deeply. "But we can't do that together together. I want to do something  _together._ "

 

"Then sleep _with_ me, silly."

 

Oddly enough, Blaine's face lit up and he gave up on the movie idea. He climbed off the bed quickly, nearly falling over in the process, and stripped down to his boxers. Sebastian followed him, but at a much slower pace considering there was no need to rush.

 

As he slipped under the covers next to Blaine, his gaze was met by two puppy dog brown eyes that seemed as though they were looking deep inside his soul and relaxing him as he settled in. Sebastian reached behind himself and turned off his lamp on the bedside table. The room went dark and he felt a familiar body get closer to him instantly. Sebastian smiled at the sudden contact and chuckled when he heard a muffled, "Mm, you're so warm, Seb."

 

Sebastian wrapped his arms around the smaller man and whispered, "Why don't you ever sleep with clothes on? You would freeze to death without me here."

 

Blaine giggled. "But you _are_ here so I'm fine. And besides, if I had clothes on you couldn't easily wake me up with a blowjob in the morning."

 

Sebastian eyes went wide at the comment. "B-but I've never done that anyway, Blaine."

 

Blaine craned his neck up so his lips reached Sebastian's ear. "Just giving you ideas," he stated, completely nonchalant. His lips grazed Sebastian's skin as he recoiled to his previous position. He whispered, "You mean the world to me, Sebastian Smythe," as he he dozed off, most likely aided by the alcohol in his system. Sebastian could hear his light breathing and could feel the places where their bodies met. He could faintly hear his heartbeat and his eyelashes against his cheek.

 

And Sebastian felt as though this was heaven on earth. 

 

With Blaine in his arms, all of his cares disappeared. The contours of Blaine's face and peaches-and-cream skin were visually stunning in the moonlight, leaving Sebastian practically breathless.

 

And that's when it hit him: he had loved Blaine all along. It was never that he couldn't love; it was that he was too afraid to admit his love. 

 

He never had a good example of what love should look like. His father had always tried to keep his feelings suppressed and only ever said his 'I love you's through gritted teeth, which Sebastian accidentally mimicked as he attempted his confession.

 

Sure, Blaine was asleep, but that didn't mean Sebastian couldn't confess his love (or at least practice confessing his love so it didn't come out gritted or forced when he did it for real).

 

Sebastian took a deep breath and as he said the words they came out exactly as he thought they might have: through gritted teeth. He attempted one more time, this time with more enthusiasm and his jaw more slacked. "I... I love you, Blaine." His heart was nearly beating out of his chest but he felt he was improving. Sebastian's confidence was ready to take flight as he prepared for his third attempt when he felt eyelashes on his cheek flutter open. 

 

Blaine, slowly and sleepily, woke up bit by bit and smiled up at Sebastian. "I love you, too, Seb, but you sound angry when you say it. Somethin' wrong?" Blaine was still drunk and Sebastian was too shocked to answer. "Do you not want to love me?"

 

Sebastian shook his head quickly. "No, no, no, I'm happy loving you. Very, very happy. I just... well, I thought you were asleep..." Sebastian confessed.

 

Blaine giggled. "You _know_ I'm a light sleeper, Seb. But it's ok you woke me up because I got to hear your love confession. An angry love confession, but still it was you're _love_ confession. And now that we both know that the other loves us we can stop this "we're just bros who suck each other off sometimes" fling thing we have. This is so _great_. We can finally be boyfriends like officially. I mean, we already kinda were but whatever. Goodnight."

 

Blaine settled back into the position he had been in prior to his little detour and started to fall back to sleep, but Sebastian wasn't having it. 

 

"Wait, were you... waiting for this? Did you already know that I loved you? How? Blaine... why didn't you say anything? I... I was so blind this entire time and you knew we were in love when I thought you were straight and I barely knew what being in love felt like... Blaine, you could have said something."

 

Blaine pouted. "I'm sorry, Seb. I just wanted to give you the time you needed. I knew you would tell me when you were ready and you did." He kissed Sebastian lightly on his lips. "I'm gay, by the way. I'm attracted to girls every once in a while because they're beautiful, but I'm not interested in dating girls, ya know? And I'm way more into receiving than giving so it wouldn't really work out with a girl. I need someone who can fuck me, not the other way around." Sebastian's breath hitched. Blaine was rarely ever this forward when speaking about sexual matters.  He heard Blaine laughing again. "You know... now that we're finally boyfriends, I could... you know..." Blaine trailed off before falling back to sleep, this time for good, and left Sebastian hanging on his last words.

 

What could Blaine do? What was he planning? With the way the conversation had turned all of Sebastian's thoughts went down a sexual path, but he didn't think he could mean anything of that sort.

 

Or did he?

 

" _Fuck_ ," Sebastian whispered before making himself comfortable in their tangled up position.

**Author's Note:**

> My Twitter is @layhanist!


End file.
